Forum Topics
Female Performer Chat: PEPE vs Catadon
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
8/26/23 @ 6:44pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
THAT'S AH RAHTAH!!!! EET EES AY! ZE SKONKAS WEETH ZE MOSTAS! RAHZING FROM ZE ZOUTH CHINAH ZEE!!! ENCASAHED EENAH BLOCKAH ICE!!!! JUSTAH WATHTEEN FOR ZAT MOMEENT TO ZAW OUT!!! AHND TAHKAH ZEE FAIRST... GIYANT... FOOTSTEPS!!! ZEE DECAYDES HASAH MADE ME VAIRAY VAIRAY TALL!!! AHND MY DEESYR VAIRAY VAIRAY LARGAH!!! CATADON!!! ZE GAYMAH OF LOOV HAS BEGAHN AGAYN! EET WEEL NEVAIR BE CALLED OFF FOR ZE DARKNAYS!!!!
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
8/26/23 @ 6:53pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
*CRASH CRASH CRUNCH *
Newscaster: This just in! The skunk made landfall at 5 am Tokyo time!
Talking Head: That's right Jake! Oh no! There goes Tokyo!
Jake: He's got a terrible purpose! And a purposeful sound! Just look at him tearing those spitting high tension wires down!
TH: I know Jake! Helpless people on subway trains go bug-eyed as he looks in on them!
PEPE: HEY LOOK PUNY HUMAN TYPAHS!!! PEPE A-GO-GO!!!! *CRASH SMASH KAZANGGGG*
Jake: He appears to be doing some kind of can - can!
TH: I never thought I'd ever say this, but, where is Catadon and can she save us? Quote
Newscaster: This just in! The skunk made landfall at 5 am Tokyo time!
Talking Head: That's right Jake! Oh no! There goes Tokyo!
Jake: He's got a terrible purpose! And a purposeful sound! Just look at him tearing those spitting high tension wires down!
TH: I know Jake! Helpless people on subway trains go bug-eyed as he looks in on them!
PEPE: HEY LOOK PUNY HUMAN TYPAHS!!! PEPE A-GO-GO!!!! *CRASH SMASH KAZANGGGG*
Jake: He appears to be doing some kind of can - can!
TH: I never thought I'd ever say this, but, where is Catadon and can she save us? Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
8/26/23 @ 7:17pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
*CRASH SMASH GRUNDGE*
EET EES AYE LOVAIRE! YOUR CORNED BEEF! WHERE EEZ MAH LEETLE CABBAYGE? eet eez all relahteev. sahz you know.
AH AM YOOR MINKEY OF LOOV! AH PAHN AHND WAIST FOR YOU! EET EEZ KEEZMET!
MYAH BONNAY LIES UNDAIR ZE OCEAN BUT SHE WEEL SOON RAHZ AHND JAHN MAY!
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EET EES AYE LOVAIRE! YOUR CORNED BEEF! WHERE EEZ MAH LEETLE CABBAYGE? eet eez all relahteev. sahz you know.
AH AM YOOR MINKEY OF LOOV! AH PAHN AHND WAIST FOR YOU! EET EEZ KEEZMET!
MYAH BONNAY LIES UNDAIR ZE OCEAN BUT SHE WEEL SOON RAHZ AHND JAHN MAY!
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
8/26/23 @ 7:50pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
As the skunk moves inland, bellowing his love, exuding his pheromones...
the horrified populace evacuates. With cries of "Catadon! Catadon! Where is Catadon?" and also with "Le Pew! orriblay! Le Pew, mon dieu!"
That latter we do not fully understand, as this is not a french speaking country. All I can say is, in matters of Love and War Reason often escapes, usually out of the window. Especially in matters skunk!
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Uh... 
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
8/27/23 @ 11:10pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
Ay few teeps to thaws who raht of loov. Naht jest fair my... skoonk brothairs. Ay may hav groon ah leetle. But mah mahnd eez what eet always was you know.
Loov, grahayte loov, tahks so much tahm. Rome was naht built in wun day. Not evan ay week you know.
Whan you havah found yoor own femme le spaysheel. You must wraht about hair asseeduassly. A beet evairy wahkeen hour. You must fanhd hair een ze fluffay clouds when you tahkah yoor mid aftairnoon strall an ze avanoo.
Drankah ze fahn wahn. Smokah yoor bast zeegarette, ahnd layt yoor thawts go to hair. Een poem. Een sahn. Eet eez those awrs eem zolayteeudah that maykahs yoor loov geet zat reech, headay charactair.
Ay theenk of my spayshal wun all ze leevlon dahay. Zoon zo zoon ah weel hav mah arms arahwdair. Ahnd may leeps all ovair hair sleek fahn limbair lanth. Aye knaw she eez nair... ah cahn zens hair zo stranhnlay. mmmmmmm so fahn.....
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
8/28/23 @ 1:33am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
Jeeves: I see that Pepe is loose in Tokyo.
Wooster: Yes. I'd love to see him again. He's always on top of things.
Jeeves: He always has a plan, it is true. His eye is set on Catadon this time.
Wooster: Yes Catadon. Good old Catadon. Do you think she is right for him Jeeves?
Jeeves: Once he got to this size, I'm afraid his options are rather limited. They have a lot in common. He could do a lot worse.
Wooster: He is such an old bachelor. Do you think he is right for settling down?
Jeeves: He always seems to run from it. But he is a skunk with normal skunk dreams. Little pepes. A chateau just off the Elysees.
Wooster: Makes me cringe. I hope he knows what he is doing.
Jeeves: Yes. Shall I pack your bag?
Wooster; Not this time. He is on his own. Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
8/28/23 @ 9:21am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
We all love Pepe and want him to find all that happiness that he can in this sad world. But we are also good citizens. And must not forget that he has been taking out large swaths of a populous city.
General Toshiko Hashumaki was no dummy. Knowing Pepe's love of romping through meadows and picking flowers, steps were taken to lure Pepe into the famous box canyon where the source of river Kimotakushasi lies surrounded by snowcapped peaks.
Trapped near the end of the box by three divisions of seriously well-armed combat troops, Pepe showed once again that mad dash that served him so well in tight situations.
Pepe: Hey General! Ay zee zat you havah Tengo Bosukake down zair!
General: That's right skunk! You'd better reach for the sky!
* CRUNCH SPINDLE FOLD MUTLILATE *
Pepe: Hey General! You doan havah Tengo no mair!!! WOOO HOOO HOOO HOOO!!!!!
Toshiko: Pepe!!!! Goddammit FIRE!!!!
BLAM KAZAM KABLOOIE RATTATATTARATTARAATARAATATATTA FWOSH KABOOOOM
You are taking big risks when you put yourself between a love sick skunk and his quarry. The mists of the canyon, such a peaceful place normally, were supplemented with nasty, oily black smoke and lung cloaking ash. Screams and explosions rent the air in twain. No pals. No glory. Just Duty. Quote
General Toshiko Hashumaki was no dummy. Knowing Pepe's love of romping through meadows and picking flowers, steps were taken to lure Pepe into the famous box canyon where the source of river Kimotakushasi lies surrounded by snowcapped peaks.
Trapped near the end of the box by three divisions of seriously well-armed combat troops, Pepe showed once again that mad dash that served him so well in tight situations.
Pepe: Hey General! Ay zee zat you havah Tengo Bosukake down zair!
General: That's right skunk! You'd better reach for the sky!
* CRUNCH SPINDLE FOLD MUTLILATE *
Pepe: Hey General! You doan havah Tengo no mair!!! WOOO HOOO HOOO HOOO!!!!!
Toshiko: Pepe!!!! Goddammit FIRE!!!!
BLAM KAZAM KABLOOIE RATTATATTARATTARAATARAATATATTA FWOSH KABOOOOM
You are taking big risks when you put yourself between a love sick skunk and his quarry. The mists of the canyon, such a peaceful place normally, were supplemented with nasty, oily black smoke and lung cloaking ash. Screams and explosions rent the air in twain. No pals. No glory. Just Duty. Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
8/29/23 @ 9:00am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
Don't cry for Pepe, Argent Tina, the truth is he never left Honshu.
Not in spirit.
When the smoke cleared, the mists burned away by wakening sun, no skunk carcass littered the canyon floor. Though hundreds of soldiers lay where broken. No feral bl00d trail led out to where a desperate hunt trail began. Quite the opposite.
Man had failed to stop skunk. The animaal had tasted bl00d. He didn't yet have man's red flower but he was not monkeying round. Quote
Not in spirit.
When the smoke cleared, the mists burned away by wakening sun, no skunk carcass littered the canyon floor. Though hundreds of soldiers lay where broken. No feral bl00d trail led out to where a desperate hunt trail began. Quite the opposite.
Man had failed to stop skunk. The animaal had tasted bl00d. He didn't yet have man's red flower but he was not monkeying round. Quote
Created by:
love2eatpussy6950
8/29/23 @ 10:23pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: chicago
Posts: 740
WTF???
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
8/30/23 @ 6:35am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
I am on the wall, holding the line.
While the rest of the city sleeeps peacefully next to their loved ones, I am bright eyed and vigilant. Doing my duty. Letting my mind suffer and groan with the weight of the dead men's souls. Letting an alien gigantoid species commune with me in mind meld that would put any Vulcan groping to shame. Without the cool strumming strings too.
For this effort. For this offering to the Insatiable. The tragic form has been transfigured. Has been universalized. And this is necessary. For all man owes to skunk.
I hear the Ages echoing down the Line. I am one with the legion of shamans. My beeer. Dark dark stout. Brings condensate and smoothness to the local universe that has been exuded by craft and guile under watchful ancestor eyes.
Grammer capitulates to man. Spelling runs away shrieking as it realizes its insignificance. I am man. I am master. Rules, laws bend under my field. Death itself slinks away weary of being a mere tool under my forge.
The clear piercing mind unfettered. Standing on the structures erected before. But turning them to rubber in the moment as alternatives slide by. It is... so great... to be...
Yes summer air wafts in and adds its magic. The stars twinkle in distant mystery. It is a time of rare tranquility and prosperity on the global, historical scale. It is a fleeting moment and surrounded by grand waste. But... the game is on, as true now as ever.
So Le Pew, if that is your real name, the line you have crossed this time, on your own grand scale, burns bright for all to see. It sears and scars. It compels the Wise to knit their brows and brood upon great truths. Universal.
The gauntlet is laid down. No Retort Courteous or Othairwise need be made. Man may be broken on one field but there will be field after field until Justice is done! Quote
While the rest of the city sleeeps peacefully next to their loved ones, I am bright eyed and vigilant. Doing my duty. Letting my mind suffer and groan with the weight of the dead men's souls. Letting an alien gigantoid species commune with me in mind meld that would put any Vulcan groping to shame. Without the cool strumming strings too.
For this effort. For this offering to the Insatiable. The tragic form has been transfigured. Has been universalized. And this is necessary. For all man owes to skunk.
I hear the Ages echoing down the Line. I am one with the legion of shamans. My beeer. Dark dark stout. Brings condensate and smoothness to the local universe that has been exuded by craft and guile under watchful ancestor eyes.
Grammer capitulates to man. Spelling runs away shrieking as it realizes its insignificance. I am man. I am master. Rules, laws bend under my field. Death itself slinks away weary of being a mere tool under my forge.
The clear piercing mind unfettered. Standing on the structures erected before. But turning them to rubber in the moment as alternatives slide by. It is... so great... to be...
Yes summer air wafts in and adds its magic. The stars twinkle in distant mystery. It is a time of rare tranquility and prosperity on the global, historical scale. It is a fleeting moment and surrounded by grand waste. But... the game is on, as true now as ever.
So Le Pew, if that is your real name, the line you have crossed this time, on your own grand scale, burns bright for all to see. It sears and scars. It compels the Wise to knit their brows and brood upon great truths. Universal.
The gauntlet is laid down. No Retort Courteous or Othairwise need be made. Man may be broken on one field but there will be field after field until Justice is done! Quote
Created by:
sirlickslot69
9/1/23 @ 7:48am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Southeastern USA
Posts: 636
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/2/23 @ 11:28pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
The monitors in World Watch One glittered with Tokyo lights.
Team Banzai had assembled. They were watching. Only watching.
Men of action. Heros every one. They hated just watching.
Buckaru soothed their sharp edges with his calm. His unassuming command presence.
"This one is not for us. " he said gently. "A wise man knows when to speak and when to stay silent. When to teach and when to learn."
Perfect Tommy: Are we just gonna let Pepe go over that cliff?
* tears in his eyes*
Buckaru: I am glad you are here and your hearts with him. It is what he would want. You have always been his friend.
Rawhide: It ain't him. He's gone. Years ago.
Jersey: I gotta believe... I mean nobody had a bigger heart.. somewhere in that hulk...
Johny Two Times: Say da woid, just gimme one woid. An I'll be right der, right der bb. Even if I end up between his toes bb, like some new lint between his goddam toes bb!
The world watched. Not detached. It felt. It really felt bb.
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/6/23 @ 6:42am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
If you want to insult your enemy. Really tick him off. As realized by one famous vengeance seeking alien just make a gigantic statue of him. That shows him realistically but to that new scale. All those warts and moles and weird creases now the size of city blocks. Make up now struggling not to look like lava flows.
It really sucks to be gigantoid, bb. Just the worse, bb.
When your arrival is announced on the news. As populations brace for the impact of your being amongst them.
Some handle it with more grace than others. ..
So strode Catadon onto the Land of the Rising Sun. Once a demur and coquettish feline. Graceful, light and playful. Now gripped by cruel Fate and thrust into greatness unwillingly. F0rced into the limelight. Compelled to act by the weakness of those around her.
"Le mew. Le sans purr" she announced.
*CRUSH CRASH GRUNDGE*
She had to weave around cities and try to stick to desolate regions as she moved northeast to southwest. Stealth impossible. Speed reckless.
She could already smell the fool. And she was miles away.
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It really sucks to be gigantoid, bb. Just the worse, bb.
When your arrival is announced on the news. As populations brace for the impact of your being amongst them.
Some handle it with more grace than others. ..
So strode Catadon onto the Land of the Rising Sun. Once a demur and coquettish feline. Graceful, light and playful. Now gripped by cruel Fate and thrust into greatness unwillingly. F0rced into the limelight. Compelled to act by the weakness of those around her.
"Le mew. Le sans purr" she announced.
*CRUSH CRASH GRUNDGE*
She had to weave around cities and try to stick to desolate regions as she moved northeast to southwest. Stealth impossible. Speed reckless.
She could already smell the fool. And she was miles away.
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/10/23 @ 10:39pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
Hey boys and girls! You've stuck with it through thick and thin!
Guess what! It is time for.... .... ... .... :
INTERMISSION!!! IN.. TER... BA DA BA DABA BADA BAAAAA
DAAAA MISSION!!!!!
OOOOOOOOHHHHH LET'S ALL GO TO THE LOOOOOOOBBY. LET'S ALL GO TO THE LOOOOOOOOBBBY!!!!
LET'S GO TO THE LOBBY AND HAVE SOME TREATS TO EAT!!!
EMOTICON LEADER SAYS AVAIRAYTHANG TAHSTS BETTAIRE COVAIRED IN POPCAIRN WEETH LOTSA SALT, AHN BUTTAIRE, AHND RAILLY RAILLY AWTRAHGEES CHAZE!!!!
But plahze, naw smakain een zee lobbay. Tahk eet outzide you seely pairsons!!!
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/10/23 @ 10:51pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
Bababababababababa
Rahzeen uhhhp.... straht to zee tahp. Deed mah tahm took mah shansez.
Wahn ze deestahnz naw aym nagonna stahp... jez ay cat ahn ze veel um zu zurvivemmitzeskonkgeoblitterizen. Le multay mew!
Yeah Catadon in her stride. Bopping and training on her way to her date. Sweat band. Water bottle. Yoga pants.
And who knows what else in that pouch around her neck. What used to be a collar.
Will Pepe take her back? do do doooooo do. I doan know. Some people say he should. Say he should take her back. Take her back like before. I doan call that a reason. I only call it beliiiiiving in mah self. You know believing in mahhhh self.....
do dooooo do dooooooooo
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/16/23 @ 9:24am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
A wise cat, a cool cat, knows better than to rush into battle. So it should not surprise anyone that Catadon took the time to prepare mind and psychE.
And so the famous pilgrimage to the Battle Shrine of the Monks Fran-Irish in Old Ichigo below the sacred mountain where Kansuke had his vision of the eight headed snake and the Young Lord made his vow of vengeance against the Osugi.
Old Monk: Weelcum zaire, femme skonk geegantaik.
Catadon: Ay cahm may bahtal peelgrahmahg tah mayk. Ahnd mah ohmahg to offair, graht munk of dees phahs.
Monk 2 Times: Eet eez zo wahs, ay see you mean ta be wise. ahnd lahk to zee eeroz thaht een ze gloray reeclahn, tayk warneen by heeros so fyne.
Catadon: Thatsa raht. Mah trahneen ees compleet. Ah jes nahd ay skull rahpleet weeth ze ahnzestairs majesteek.
Paite Minkey: *playing accordian* ooooo ahaaaaa ooooooo
Catadon: Ay deed nawt knaw you haid ay minkay hair. How vairay cosmopahlayteen.
And with this respectful exchange began the long hours of meditation and scroll reading. There would have been some character brushing but they lacked the ink lake required by the cat's massive paw. It is just as well, probably would have spilled it all over herself like the old days.
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And so the famous pilgrimage to the Battle Shrine of the Monks Fran-Irish in Old Ichigo below the sacred mountain where Kansuke had his vision of the eight headed snake and the Young Lord made his vow of vengeance against the Osugi.
Old Monk: Weelcum zaire, femme skonk geegantaik.
Catadon: Ay cahm may bahtal peelgrahmahg tah mayk. Ahnd mah ohmahg to offair, graht munk of dees phahs.
Monk 2 Times: Eet eez zo wahs, ay see you mean ta be wise. ahnd lahk to zee eeroz thaht een ze gloray reeclahn, tayk warneen by heeros so fyne.
Catadon: Thatsa raht. Mah trahneen ees compleet. Ah jes nahd ay skull rahpleet weeth ze ahnzestairs majesteek.
Paite Minkey: *playing accordian* ooooo ahaaaaa ooooooo
Catadon: Ay deed nawt knaw you haid ay minkay hair. How vairay cosmopahlayteen.
And with this respectful exchange began the long hours of meditation and scroll reading. There would have been some character brushing but they lacked the ink lake required by the cat's massive paw. It is just as well, probably would have spilled it all over herself like the old days.
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/16/23 @ 10:11am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
AI Wallace: We are here today with the creator of the influential DoRide Story Werks, Blue Blazer Irregular and ...
Ride: Let me stop you right there Mike. Research shows that audiences today just don't have the same attention span. We are probably mostly in background as viewers multi-task.
AI Wallace: I was going to go into the making of your current saga, but maybe I should ask: is there anything sensational going on?
Ride: It has been an unusually quiet period Mike. We need these times of course. Man is a complex, contemplative animaal.
AI Wallace: I see. Is this your first interview by an agent?
Ride: It is my first by such a high quality tribute. They got you just right. In your prime. I am instinctively as on guard as any fencer reaching out to touch swords.
AI Wallace: Do you have anything to hide? *smile and wink*
Ride: We all have our secrets. Our strengths. Our failings. It is a dangerous world where we will all need another's help some day.
AI Wallace: It is nice to hear. But poor news material. We are going to have to wrap this up.
Ride: I know. Way of the world. Business model. Adults don't have problems with such things.
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Ride: Let me stop you right there Mike. Research shows that audiences today just don't have the same attention span. We are probably mostly in background as viewers multi-task.
AI Wallace: I was going to go into the making of your current saga, but maybe I should ask: is there anything sensational going on?
Ride: It has been an unusually quiet period Mike. We need these times of course. Man is a complex, contemplative animaal.
AI Wallace: I see. Is this your first interview by an agent?
Ride: It is my first by such a high quality tribute. They got you just right. In your prime. I am instinctively as on guard as any fencer reaching out to touch swords.
AI Wallace: Do you have anything to hide? *smile and wink*
Ride: We all have our secrets. Our strengths. Our failings. It is a dangerous world where we will all need another's help some day.
AI Wallace: It is nice to hear. But poor news material. We are going to have to wrap this up.
Ride: I know. Way of the world. Business model. Adults don't have problems with such things.
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
9/29/23 @ 6:47pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224
You know tiiii iii iiii iiiiime is on my side. yes it is!
If you are part of a big army in the middle of the wilderness. And your leader is marching you all over. Into and out of battle positions. Bringing you right in front of the enemy only to march you miles and miles into a new position.
If that is your lot. .. Chances are you have a really good leader. That's how Caesar's campaigns read for example. and Napoleon. They marched to victory. Used their legs. Their logistics. Their engineering.
Knowing how to screen How to concentrate. The readiness of both armies.
Slow down. Don't rush the historic bits. Think. Maybe even invent a convenient sign or vision.
So it was that Catadon with fire ash dabbed in cross form on sweaty forehead crossed the skunk T in a broad flanking movement and f0rced him up a waterless, jagged ravine. Catadon clapped him in a trap and dug in. Laid him under siege and crept her works slowly toward him.
Cold steel. Sliding into warm buttair.
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If you are part of a big army in the middle of the wilderness. And your leader is marching you all over. Into and out of battle positions. Bringing you right in front of the enemy only to march you miles and miles into a new position.
If that is your lot. .. Chances are you have a really good leader. That's how Caesar's campaigns read for example. and Napoleon. They marched to victory. Used their legs. Their logistics. Their engineering.
Knowing how to screen How to concentrate. The readiness of both armies.
Slow down. Don't rush the historic bits. Think. Maybe even invent a convenient sign or vision.
So it was that Catadon with fire ash dabbed in cross form on sweaty forehead crossed the skunk T in a broad flanking movement and f0rced him up a waterless, jagged ravine. Catadon clapped him in a trap and dug in. Laid him under siege and crept her works slowly toward him.
Cold steel. Sliding into warm buttair.
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