Forum Topics
Female Performer Chat: Suggs Quacking his way to 2000
Created by:
ozzieboy4u
7/25/09 @ 2:46am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Under Saphira's Bed with the wand
Posts: 3,075
Suggs what can i say? I dont know how long you have been a member here for. But since i have been here i have seen that you are well loved by The Models and Members alike.
Keep up the good work Suggs and keep posting.
Quote
Keep up the good work Suggs and keep posting.
Quote
Created by:
lickau
7/25/09 @ 3:05am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
Suggs was the first to post 1000. He always add to threads when it is needed. One of the Original Good Guys. Congrats Suggs 
Suggs was 1st at 1000 AND 1500
He slowed down to watch me dance and G-Mann BBQ
Suggs is ALWAYS Pro-Model and Pro-Member
I will hold congrats until 18 more posts
Quote
Suggs was 1st at 1000 AND 1500
He slowed down to watch me dance and G-Mann BBQ
Suggs is ALWAYS Pro-Model and Pro-Member
I will hold congrats until 18 more posts
Quote
Created by:
ozzieboy4u
7/25/09 @ 4:02am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Under Saphira's Bed with the wand
Posts: 3,075
Will Suggs reach 2000 first or will the question game reach 1000 first
Quote
Created by:
lickau
7/25/09 @ 4:45am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
Created by:
ozzieboy4u
7/25/09 @ 4:54am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Under Saphira's Bed with the wand
Posts: 3,075
Created by:
g-mann
7/25/09 @ 5:02am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Teddy's BBQ Place in Hello Kitty Land on Route 66
Posts: 9,786
Created by:
ozzieboy4u
7/25/09 @ 5:07am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Under Saphira's Bed with the wand
Posts: 3,075
Congrats Suggs !!!!
Quote
Created by:
amicu
7/25/09 @ 7:45pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: In the F4F Archives, Sublevel 5, aisles 71-72
Posts: 1,088
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the 2009 Suggsies Awards Show, brought to you by Tang. Tang - yeah, we still make this crap. Also brought to you by Attends. Because sometimes to you're to busy to use the toilet. Attends - We've Got Your Shit Covered (TM). We're coming to you live from the Shady Elms Pensioner's Community Center here in picturesque Scranton, Pennsylvania, where the crowds have just been waiting on line for hours and hours to get into this exclusive event -
[peeks outside]
::crickets::
.. Anyway, my name is Amicu, I'll be hosting the Awards ceremony this evening. For those of you viewing at home the way these shows usually work is that -
"I'm hungry. It's 4:30. When the fuck are we getting Jell-O?"
"Mr. Leibowicz, not now, the award show is about to start!"
"Mehh, fine... but I'm not staying if there's no snacks"
Sorry everyone, let's get started then, shall we? Our first award goes for best shawl that took all year to crochet goes to... Mrs. O'Donegal! A big hand for Mrs. O'Donegal everybody!
"She's dead."
.... She's... dead? Oh... well.... ehhh... umm... here to accept the award in Mrs. O'Donegal's behalf is Mr. Leibowicz!
"Award? Can I eat it?"
No Mr. Leibowicz, it's a major award
"Then fuck you and your awards. Nurse! Jell-O! Now!"
[blank stares from the nursing home crowd]
Ok, so in the category of best shuffleboard game, the Suggsie goes to... Mr. Michailides!
"Did you say MacGuyver is coming on? He's such a good boy, that MacGuyver."
[Suggs pulls Ami over...]
"Wtf?? (in real life Suggs always says the letters W, T, and F to show his displeasure...) This is supposed to be my awards ceremony, what's with all the nobody-awards???"
Relax, we could only book this gig if we made it a socially-inclusive event for the crowd, don't worry, I've got this!
... All right everybody, we're going to take a quick commercial break before we come back with the big award tonight in honor of our man of the hour, Mr. Suggs himself!
[turns the tv on to Channel 4]
::Wheeeeel... Offff... Fortune!!!! I'm your host Pat Sajak and this is Vanna White..::
[15 minutes later, while the room of senior citizens enjoys their Jell-O cups]
"Buy an E! Buy an E!"
"I hope they get dining room set prize.."
"I really like it when they cut up the pears in the Jell-O. Not so much the pineapples but I like it when they have the cut up pears."
....
[Wheel of Fortune ends]
All right, and we're back for the moment you've all been waiting for!
"Is it nap time now?"
No, it's the time when we give Suggs his Porcelain Dildo for his 2000th post!
"Did you say Pork and lentils? We had that last night."
No, porcelain dildo. It's the award. For 2000th post.
"Oh."
"Do I get one two?"
No, it's only for Suggs, for posting so much.
[Suggs anxiously waits to leap from his front row seat to claim his award]
"What's a Porch-in-a-window?"
PORCELAIN DILDO. Anyway, the Institute for the Cure to Athlete's Foot is proud to sponsor this year's Suggsie, and here to present the award is our very own "Teddy" G-Mann and LickaU. A big hand for Teddy and LickaU everyone!
Teddy: "I didn't get an award for my 2000th post, or my 3000th or 4000th, but... psshhh, you know, whatever."
LickaU: "We're here to award Suggs for the seemingly impossible feat of reaching his 2000th post on an Adult Webcam Site forum, even if Teddy and have almost 10 000 posts between the two of us, and Amicu didn't even bake us a cake..."
Teddy: "I am so done with writing you love sonnets, Ami."
LickaU: "Yeah, so anyway, Suggs. 2000th. Woo-friggin-hoo. [looking over the porcelain dildo] You owe me Ami, you owe me"
[tosses the porcelain dildo at Suggs, but it lands on Mrs. Ruttelmeier's lap instead]
"Oooh, I win the hair curler?"
[begins to curl her hair around the sex toy award]
"Eunice, that's a dildo"
"A what?"
"A dildo"
"Ehh?"
"The devil's wand, for improper and unmentionable acts, it's just not 'Christian'.."
"Oh, you mean like that music my grandchildren all listen to?"
[Eunice puts the dildo to her mouth like a microphone and starts singing]
"Bizz-itches be on my jock from show-to-show, act like ya didn't know, holla at ya' boy Jay-Z..."
[Eunice grabs her crotch, the seniors all wave their arms to and fro...]
...
And that concludes this year's Suggsies. Stay tuned next time when we honor LickaU and G-Mann's 5000th tandem-post. There may even be balloon animals and a special guest appearance as the presenters award them with the complimentary 5000th post lifesize girlfriend Jell-O mould and the much-heralded paper-mache penis-pinata. Fun for the whole family. Be sure to Tivo it. Quote
[peeks outside]
::crickets::
.. Anyway, my name is Amicu, I'll be hosting the Awards ceremony this evening. For those of you viewing at home the way these shows usually work is that -
"I'm hungry. It's 4:30. When the fuck are we getting Jell-O?"
"Mr. Leibowicz, not now, the award show is about to start!"
"Mehh, fine... but I'm not staying if there's no snacks"
Sorry everyone, let's get started then, shall we? Our first award goes for best shawl that took all year to crochet goes to... Mrs. O'Donegal! A big hand for Mrs. O'Donegal everybody!
"She's dead."
.... She's... dead? Oh... well.... ehhh... umm... here to accept the award in Mrs. O'Donegal's behalf is Mr. Leibowicz!
"Award? Can I eat it?"
No Mr. Leibowicz, it's a major award
"Then fuck you and your awards. Nurse! Jell-O! Now!"
[blank stares from the nursing home crowd]
Ok, so in the category of best shuffleboard game, the Suggsie goes to... Mr. Michailides!
"Did you say MacGuyver is coming on? He's such a good boy, that MacGuyver."
[Suggs pulls Ami over...]
"Wtf?? (in real life Suggs always says the letters W, T, and F to show his displeasure...) This is supposed to be my awards ceremony, what's with all the nobody-awards???"
Relax, we could only book this gig if we made it a socially-inclusive event for the crowd, don't worry, I've got this!
... All right everybody, we're going to take a quick commercial break before we come back with the big award tonight in honor of our man of the hour, Mr. Suggs himself!
[turns the tv on to Channel 4]
::Wheeeeel... Offff... Fortune!!!! I'm your host Pat Sajak and this is Vanna White..::
[15 minutes later, while the room of senior citizens enjoys their Jell-O cups]
"Buy an E! Buy an E!"
"I hope they get dining room set prize.."
"I really like it when they cut up the pears in the Jell-O. Not so much the pineapples but I like it when they have the cut up pears."
....
[Wheel of Fortune ends]
All right, and we're back for the moment you've all been waiting for!
"Is it nap time now?"
No, it's the time when we give Suggs his Porcelain Dildo for his 2000th post!
"Did you say Pork and lentils? We had that last night."
No, porcelain dildo. It's the award. For 2000th post.
"Oh."
"Do I get one two?"
No, it's only for Suggs, for posting so much.
[Suggs anxiously waits to leap from his front row seat to claim his award]
"What's a Porch-in-a-window?"
PORCELAIN DILDO. Anyway, the Institute for the Cure to Athlete's Foot is proud to sponsor this year's Suggsie, and here to present the award is our very own "Teddy" G-Mann and LickaU. A big hand for Teddy and LickaU everyone!
Teddy: "I didn't get an award for my 2000th post, or my 3000th or 4000th, but... psshhh, you know, whatever."
LickaU: "We're here to award Suggs for the seemingly impossible feat of reaching his 2000th post on an Adult Webcam Site forum, even if Teddy and have almost 10 000 posts between the two of us, and Amicu didn't even bake us a cake..."
Teddy: "I am so done with writing you love sonnets, Ami."
LickaU: "Yeah, so anyway, Suggs. 2000th. Woo-friggin-hoo. [looking over the porcelain dildo] You owe me Ami, you owe me"
[tosses the porcelain dildo at Suggs, but it lands on Mrs. Ruttelmeier's lap instead]
"Oooh, I win the hair curler?"
[begins to curl her hair around the sex toy award]
"Eunice, that's a dildo"
"A what?"
"A dildo"
"Ehh?"
"The devil's wand, for improper and unmentionable acts, it's just not 'Christian'.."
"Oh, you mean like that music my grandchildren all listen to?"
[Eunice puts the dildo to her mouth like a microphone and starts singing]
"Bizz-itches be on my jock from show-to-show, act like ya didn't know, holla at ya' boy Jay-Z..."
[Eunice grabs her crotch, the seniors all wave their arms to and fro...]
...
And that concludes this year's Suggsies. Stay tuned next time when we honor LickaU and G-Mann's 5000th tandem-post. There may even be balloon animals and a special guest appearance as the presenters award them with the complimentary 5000th post lifesize girlfriend Jell-O mould and the much-heralded paper-mache penis-pinata. Fun for the whole family. Be sure to Tivo it. Quote
Created by:
g-mann
7/25/09 @ 8:43pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Teddy's BBQ Place in Hello Kitty Land on Route 66
Posts: 9,786
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the 2009 Suggsies Awards Show, brought to you by Tang. Tang - yeah, we still make this crap. Also brought to you by Attends. Because sometimes to you're to busy to use the toilet. Attends - We've Got Your Shit Covered (TM). We're coming to you live from the Shady Elms Pensioner's Community Center here in picturesque Scranton, Pennsylvania, where the crowds have just been waiting on line for hours and hours to get into this exclusive event -
[peeks outside]
::crickets::
.. Anyway, my name is Amicu, I'll be hosting the Awards ceremony this evening. For those of you viewing at home the way these shows usually work is that -
"I'm hungry. It's 4:30. When the fuck are we getting Jell-O?"
"Mr. Leibowicz, not now, the award show is about to start!"
"Mehh, fine... but I'm not staying if there's no snacks"
Sorry everyone, let's get started then, shall we? Our first award goes for best shawl that took all year to crochet goes to... Mrs. O'Donegal! A big hand for Mrs. O'Donegal everybody!
"She's dead."
.... She's... dead? Oh... well.... ehhh... umm... here to accept the award in Mrs. O'Donegal's behalf is Mr. Leibowicz!
"Award? Can I eat it?"
No Mr. Leibowicz, it's a major award
"Then fuck you and your awards. Nurse! Jell-O! Now!"
[blank stares from the nursing home crowd]
Ok, so in the category of best shuffleboard game, the Suggsie goes to... Mr. Michailides!
"Did you say MacGuyver is coming on? He's such a good boy, that MacGuyver."
[Suggs pulls Ami over...]
"Wtf?? (in real life Suggs always says the letters W, T, and F to show his displeasure...) This is supposed to be my awards ceremony, what's with all the nobody-awards???"
Relax, we could only book this gig if we made it a socially-inclusive event for the crowd, don't worry, I've got this!
... All right everybody, we're going to take a quick commercial break before we come back with the big award tonight in honor of our man of the hour, Mr. Suggs himself!
[turns the tv on to Channel 4]
::Wheeeeel... Offff... Fortune!!!! I'm your host Pat Sajak and this is Vanna White..::
[15 minutes later, while the room of senior citizens enjoys their Jell-O cups]
"Buy an E! Buy an E!"
"I hope they get dining room set prize.."
"I really like it when they cut up the pears in the Jell-O. Not so much the pineapples but I like it when they have the cut up pears."
....
[Wheel of Fortune ends]
All right, and we're back for the moment you've all been waiting for!
"Is it nap time now?"
No, it's the time when we give Suggs his Porcelain Dildo for his 2000th post!
"Did you say Pork and lentils? We had that last night."
No, porcelain dildo. It's the award. For 2000th post.
"Oh."
"Do I get one two?"
No, it's only for Suggs, for posting so much.
[Suggs anxiously waits to leap from his front row seat to claim his award]
"What's a Porch-in-a-window?"
PORCELAIN DILDO. Anyway, the Institute for the Cure to Athlete's Foot is proud to sponsor this year's Suggsie, and here to present the award is our very own "Teddy" G-Mann and LickaU. A big hand for Teddy and LickaU everyone!
Teddy: "I didn't get an award for my 2000th post, or my 3000th or 4000th, but... psshhh, you know, whatever."
LickaU: "We're here to award Suggs for the seemingly impossible feat of reaching his 2000th post on an Adult Webcam Site forum, even if Teddy and have almost 10 000 posts between the two of us, and Amicu didn't even bake us a cake..."
Teddy: "I am so done with writing you love sonnets, Ami."
LickaU: "Yeah, so anyway, Suggs. 2000th. Woo-friggin-hoo. [looking over the porcelain dildo] You owe me Ami, you owe me"
[tosses the porcelain dildo at Suggs, but it lands on Mrs. Ruttelmeier's lap instead]
"Oooh, I win the hair curler?"
[begins to curl her hair around the sex toy award]
"Eunice, that's a dildo"
"A what?"
"A dildo"
"Ehh?"
"The devil's wand, for improper and unmentionable acts, it's just not 'Christian'.."
"Oh, you mean like that music my grandchildren all listen to?"
[Eunice puts the dildo to her mouth like a microphone and starts singing]
"Bizz-itches be on my jock from show-to-show, act like ya didn't know, holla at ya' boy Jay-Z..."
[Eunice grabs her crotch, the seniors all wave their arms to and fro...]
...
And that concludes this year's Suggsies. Stay tuned next time when we honor LickaU and G-Mann's 5000th tandem-post. There may even be balloon animals and a special guest appearance as the presenters award them with the complimentary 5000th post lifesize girlfriend Jell-O mould and the much-heralded paper-mache penis-pinata. Fun for the whole family. Be sure to Tivo it.
Great Jell-O. I mean ceremony Ami
Quote
[peeks outside]
::crickets::
.. Anyway, my name is Amicu, I'll be hosting the Awards ceremony this evening. For those of you viewing at home the way these shows usually work is that -
"I'm hungry. It's 4:30. When the fuck are we getting Jell-O?"
"Mr. Leibowicz, not now, the award show is about to start!"
"Mehh, fine... but I'm not staying if there's no snacks"
Sorry everyone, let's get started then, shall we? Our first award goes for best shawl that took all year to crochet goes to... Mrs. O'Donegal! A big hand for Mrs. O'Donegal everybody!
"She's dead."
.... She's... dead? Oh... well.... ehhh... umm... here to accept the award in Mrs. O'Donegal's behalf is Mr. Leibowicz!
"Award? Can I eat it?"
No Mr. Leibowicz, it's a major award
"Then fuck you and your awards. Nurse! Jell-O! Now!"
[blank stares from the nursing home crowd]
Ok, so in the category of best shuffleboard game, the Suggsie goes to... Mr. Michailides!
"Did you say MacGuyver is coming on? He's such a good boy, that MacGuyver."
[Suggs pulls Ami over...]
"Wtf?? (in real life Suggs always says the letters W, T, and F to show his displeasure...) This is supposed to be my awards ceremony, what's with all the nobody-awards???"
Relax, we could only book this gig if we made it a socially-inclusive event for the crowd, don't worry, I've got this!
... All right everybody, we're going to take a quick commercial break before we come back with the big award tonight in honor of our man of the hour, Mr. Suggs himself!
[turns the tv on to Channel 4]
::Wheeeeel... Offff... Fortune!!!! I'm your host Pat Sajak and this is Vanna White..::
[15 minutes later, while the room of senior citizens enjoys their Jell-O cups]
"Buy an E! Buy an E!"
"I hope they get dining room set prize.."
"I really like it when they cut up the pears in the Jell-O. Not so much the pineapples but I like it when they have the cut up pears."
....
[Wheel of Fortune ends]
All right, and we're back for the moment you've all been waiting for!
"Is it nap time now?"
No, it's the time when we give Suggs his Porcelain Dildo for his 2000th post!
"Did you say Pork and lentils? We had that last night."
No, porcelain dildo. It's the award. For 2000th post.
"Oh."
"Do I get one two?"
No, it's only for Suggs, for posting so much.
[Suggs anxiously waits to leap from his front row seat to claim his award]
"What's a Porch-in-a-window?"
PORCELAIN DILDO. Anyway, the Institute for the Cure to Athlete's Foot is proud to sponsor this year's Suggsie, and here to present the award is our very own "Teddy" G-Mann and LickaU. A big hand for Teddy and LickaU everyone!
Teddy: "I didn't get an award for my 2000th post, or my 3000th or 4000th, but... psshhh, you know, whatever."
LickaU: "We're here to award Suggs for the seemingly impossible feat of reaching his 2000th post on an Adult Webcam Site forum, even if Teddy and have almost 10 000 posts between the two of us, and Amicu didn't even bake us a cake..."
Teddy: "I am so done with writing you love sonnets, Ami."
LickaU: "Yeah, so anyway, Suggs. 2000th. Woo-friggin-hoo. [looking over the porcelain dildo] You owe me Ami, you owe me"
[tosses the porcelain dildo at Suggs, but it lands on Mrs. Ruttelmeier's lap instead]
"Oooh, I win the hair curler?"
[begins to curl her hair around the sex toy award]
"Eunice, that's a dildo"
"A what?"
"A dildo"
"Ehh?"
"The devil's wand, for improper and unmentionable acts, it's just not 'Christian'.."
"Oh, you mean like that music my grandchildren all listen to?"
[Eunice puts the dildo to her mouth like a microphone and starts singing]
"Bizz-itches be on my jock from show-to-show, act like ya didn't know, holla at ya' boy Jay-Z..."
[Eunice grabs her crotch, the seniors all wave their arms to and fro...]
...
And that concludes this year's Suggsies. Stay tuned next time when we honor LickaU and G-Mann's 5000th tandem-post. There may even be balloon animals and a special guest appearance as the presenters award them with the complimentary 5000th post lifesize girlfriend Jell-O mould and the much-heralded paper-mache penis-pinata. Fun for the whole family. Be sure to Tivo it.
Great Jell-O. I mean ceremony Ami
Quote
Created by:
lickau
7/26/09 @ 11:56am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the 2009 Suggsies Awards Show, brought to you by Tang. Tang - yeah, we still make this crap. Also brought to you by Attends. Because sometimes to you're to busy to use the toilet. Attends - We've Got Your Shit Covered (TM). We're coming to you live from the Shady Elms Pensioner's Community Center here in picturesque Scranton, Pennsylvania, where the crowds have just been waiting on line for hours and hours to get into this exclusive event -
[peeks outside]
::crickets::
.. Anyway, my name is Amicu, I'll be hosting the Awards ceremony this evening. For those of you viewing at home the way these shows usually work is that -
"I'm hungry. It's 4:30. When the fuck are we getting Jell-O?"
"Mr. Leibowicz, not now, the award show is about to start!"
"Mehh, fine... but I'm not staying if there's no snacks"
Sorry everyone, let's get started then, shall we? Our first award goes for best shawl that took all year to crochet goes to... Mrs. O'Donegal! A big hand for Mrs. O'Donegal everybody!
"She's dead."
.... She's... dead? Oh... well.... ehhh... umm... here to accept the award in Mrs. O'Donegal's behalf is Mr. Leibowicz!
"Award? Can I eat it?"
No Mr. Leibowicz, it's a major award
"Then fuck you and your awards. Nurse! Jell-O! Now!"
[blank stares from the nursing home crowd]
Ok, so in the category of best shuffleboard game, the Suggsie goes to... Mr. Michailides!
"Did you say MacGuyver is coming on? He's such a good boy, that MacGuyver."
[Suggs pulls Ami over...]
"Wtf?? (in real life Suggs always says the letters W, T, and F to show his displeasure...) This is supposed to be my awards ceremony, what's with all the nobody-awards???"
Relax, we could only book this gig if we made it a socially-inclusive event for the crowd, don't worry, I've got this!
... All right everybody, we're going to take a quick commercial break before we come back with the big award tonight in honor of our man of the hour, Mr. Suggs himself!
[turns the tv on to Channel 4]
::Wheeeeel... Offff... Fortune!!!! I'm your host Pat Sajak and this is Vanna White..::
[15 minutes later, while the room of senior citizens enjoys their Jell-O cups]
"Buy an E! Buy an E!"
"I hope they get dining room set prize.."
"I really like it when they cut up the pears in the Jell-O. Not so much the pineapples but I like it when they have the cut up pears."
....
[Wheel of Fortune ends]
All right, and we're back for the moment you've all been waiting for!
"Is it nap time now?"
No, it's the time when we give Suggs his Porcelain Dildo for his 2000th post!
"Did you say Pork and lentils? We had that last night."
No, porcelain dildo. It's the award. For 2000th post.
"Oh."
"Do I get one two?"
No, it's only for Suggs, for posting so much.
[Suggs anxiously waits to leap from his front row seat to claim his award]
"What's a Porch-in-a-window?"
PORCELAIN DILDO. Anyway, the Institute for the Cure to Athlete's Foot is proud to sponsor this year's Suggsie, and here to present the award is our very own "Teddy" G-Mann and LickaU. A big hand for Teddy and LickaU everyone!
Teddy: "I didn't get an award for my 2000th post, or my 3000th or 4000th, but... psshhh, you know, whatever."
LickaU: "We're here to award Suggs for the seemingly impossible feat of reaching his 2000th post on an Adult Webcam Site forum, even if Teddy and have almost 10 000 posts between the two of us, and Amicu didn't even bake us a cake..."
Teddy: "I am so done with writing you love sonnets, Ami."
LickaU: "Yeah, so anyway, Suggs. 2000th. Woo-friggin-hoo. [looking over the porcelain dildo] You owe me Ami, you owe me"
[tosses the porcelain dildo at Suggs, but it lands on Mrs. Ruttelmeier's lap instead]
"Oooh, I win the hair curler?"
[begins to curl her hair around the sex toy award]
"Eunice, that's a dildo"
"A what?"
"A dildo"
"Ehh?"
"The devil's wand, for improper and unmentionable acts, it's just not 'Christian'.."
"Oh, you mean like that music my grandchildren all listen to?"
[Eunice puts the dildo to her mouth like a microphone and starts singing]
"Bizz-itches be on my jock from show-to-show, act like ya didn't know, holla at ya' boy Jay-Z..."
[Eunice grabs her crotch, the seniors all wave their arms to and fro...]
...
And that concludes this year's Suggsies. Stay tuned next time when we honor LickaU and G-Mann's 5000th tandem-post. There may even be balloon animals and a special guest appearance as the presenters award them with the complimentary 5000th post lifesize girlfriend Jell-O mould and the much-heralded paper-mache penis-pinata. Fun for the whole family. Be sure to Tivo it.
Award ceremony by Amicu makes VIP worth it for his humorous replies
[pssttt Amicu - Thank You Bro ]
Quote
[peeks outside]
::crickets::
.. Anyway, my name is Amicu, I'll be hosting the Awards ceremony this evening. For those of you viewing at home the way these shows usually work is that -
"I'm hungry. It's 4:30. When the fuck are we getting Jell-O?"
"Mr. Leibowicz, not now, the award show is about to start!"
"Mehh, fine... but I'm not staying if there's no snacks"
Sorry everyone, let's get started then, shall we? Our first award goes for best shawl that took all year to crochet goes to... Mrs. O'Donegal! A big hand for Mrs. O'Donegal everybody!
"She's dead."
.... She's... dead? Oh... well.... ehhh... umm... here to accept the award in Mrs. O'Donegal's behalf is Mr. Leibowicz!
"Award? Can I eat it?"
No Mr. Leibowicz, it's a major award
"Then fuck you and your awards. Nurse! Jell-O! Now!"
[blank stares from the nursing home crowd]
Ok, so in the category of best shuffleboard game, the Suggsie goes to... Mr. Michailides!
"Did you say MacGuyver is coming on? He's such a good boy, that MacGuyver."
[Suggs pulls Ami over...]
"Wtf?? (in real life Suggs always says the letters W, T, and F to show his displeasure...) This is supposed to be my awards ceremony, what's with all the nobody-awards???"
Relax, we could only book this gig if we made it a socially-inclusive event for the crowd, don't worry, I've got this!
... All right everybody, we're going to take a quick commercial break before we come back with the big award tonight in honor of our man of the hour, Mr. Suggs himself!
[turns the tv on to Channel 4]
::Wheeeeel... Offff... Fortune!!!! I'm your host Pat Sajak and this is Vanna White..::
[15 minutes later, while the room of senior citizens enjoys their Jell-O cups]
"Buy an E! Buy an E!"
"I hope they get dining room set prize.."
"I really like it when they cut up the pears in the Jell-O. Not so much the pineapples but I like it when they have the cut up pears."
....
[Wheel of Fortune ends]
All right, and we're back for the moment you've all been waiting for!
"Is it nap time now?"
No, it's the time when we give Suggs his Porcelain Dildo for his 2000th post!
"Did you say Pork and lentils? We had that last night."
No, porcelain dildo. It's the award. For 2000th post.
"Oh."
"Do I get one two?"
No, it's only for Suggs, for posting so much.
[Suggs anxiously waits to leap from his front row seat to claim his award]
"What's a Porch-in-a-window?"
PORCELAIN DILDO. Anyway, the Institute for the Cure to Athlete's Foot is proud to sponsor this year's Suggsie, and here to present the award is our very own "Teddy" G-Mann and LickaU. A big hand for Teddy and LickaU everyone!
Teddy: "I didn't get an award for my 2000th post, or my 3000th or 4000th, but... psshhh, you know, whatever."
LickaU: "We're here to award Suggs for the seemingly impossible feat of reaching his 2000th post on an Adult Webcam Site forum, even if Teddy and have almost 10 000 posts between the two of us, and Amicu didn't even bake us a cake..."
Teddy: "I am so done with writing you love sonnets, Ami."
LickaU: "Yeah, so anyway, Suggs. 2000th. Woo-friggin-hoo. [looking over the porcelain dildo] You owe me Ami, you owe me"
[tosses the porcelain dildo at Suggs, but it lands on Mrs. Ruttelmeier's lap instead]
"Oooh, I win the hair curler?"
[begins to curl her hair around the sex toy award]
"Eunice, that's a dildo"
"A what?"
"A dildo"
"Ehh?"
"The devil's wand, for improper and unmentionable acts, it's just not 'Christian'.."
"Oh, you mean like that music my grandchildren all listen to?"
[Eunice puts the dildo to her mouth like a microphone and starts singing]
"Bizz-itches be on my jock from show-to-show, act like ya didn't know, holla at ya' boy Jay-Z..."
[Eunice grabs her crotch, the seniors all wave their arms to and fro...]
...
And that concludes this year's Suggsies. Stay tuned next time when we honor LickaU and G-Mann's 5000th tandem-post. There may even be balloon animals and a special guest appearance as the presenters award them with the complimentary 5000th post lifesize girlfriend Jell-O mould and the much-heralded paper-mache penis-pinata. Fun for the whole family. Be sure to Tivo it.
Award ceremony by Amicu makes VIP worth it for his humorous replies
[pssttt Amicu - Thank You Bro
]
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amicu never ceases to amaze me with his commentation! great, great, great post amicu and congrats on two-grand suggs!
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